I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
