No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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