is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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