So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
