Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
