First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
