Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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