if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
