pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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