Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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