this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
