My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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