my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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