he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
