I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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