We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
