Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just made my gag reflex go away.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
