nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
