i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
