I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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