Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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