Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
