...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
