i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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