lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
