Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need to calm my uterus...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
