Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize