Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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