something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
