I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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