I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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