and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
