who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
