so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
