Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
