The beer is more important than you right now.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
