Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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