Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
