I could have mohawked her pubes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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