someone owes me an orgasm
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
