She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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