I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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