i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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