17 year olds will be the death of me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
