I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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