im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
