if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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