Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize