You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
