He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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