left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
