Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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