Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
time to smoke my breakfast
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
