We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
