Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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